About once a week, somebody picks someone else’s blog rant and makes it viral. And when people who agree with that particular stance post it on social media, they make it more viral. I’m Sure I’ve done this. I know I’ve read them (obviously) and nodded my head in agreement. Or maybe disagreement?
More than make it viral, they make their stance known to the world and to the people clicking that link, who many not feel the exact same, it feels judgy and assuming. even if i agree with it, it still feels like that person is trying to make it known that they think X is right. period.
This also applies to those lists of 20 things not to say to a person under X circumstances. I mean, REALLY! Every time I read through a list like that, I feel terribly aware that I'm sure I've offended someone. Next time, I'll say nothing or pretend I don't know. Oh wait, that's on the list too... the people who ignore X scenario and say nothing. Crap. NO, NO. That can't be right either.
Here are some real examples (worded like they are in my head):
-Parents of more than one kid have it harder than parents of just one kid. < or > Why people need to be researching overpopulation.
-Why having kids is lame. < or > Why not having kids is lame.
-Why homeschooling is better. < or > Why homeschooling is not better.
-What do stay at home moms do all day? < or > Why staying at home is not best.
-Why breastfeeding is better. < or > Why breastfeeding mama’s need to shut it.
-10 things not to say to a mom in a grocery store.
-Why you should vaccinate your kids. < or > Why you should not vaccinate your kids.
-Why obamacare equals socialism and how it will affect my bottom line. < or > Why obamacare will make my life better.
-Why you should not let your kid eat the GMO cheerios.
-What not to say to someone who could possibly have experienced any hard thing, especially if said "thing" was not hard for you.
The list of these rants goes on… and I’m an idiot, and I glance at the comments on each of these articles/blogs. And, I’m left feeling disgusted with society and myself. Yuk. There are people who are really this bitter, mean, snarky, and judgmental? I’d hate to think what some of my own people might think of me if they knew what i did, ate, or fed my kid... or how many kids i have, or don't plan to have.
In our house, we teeter back and forth from one side of these arguments to the other (by society standards). My husband and I work full time, and we have 2.5 kids. And, we have no current plans to change that arrangement upon the birth of the third child. I breastfeed. Sometimes, after my kids begin walking (10-12 months), I find myself exhausted, tired of fighting that baby to eat, ready to feel normal, so I ween and I bottle feed the rest of the time. We don’t have plans to home school, but our desire is to raise our children in a Godly home. We vaccinate the kids, but we really don’t care if other people do or don’t. We’re grateful for the choice!
If you see me in a grocery store with my kids being crazy, I won’t take offense to whatever face you’re making or your comments because likely, I won’t notice or hear you. When I’m out with my kids, I have to keep my game face ON! No time to care about what you think, I’ve got precious little souls to mind (and see to it that they don’t pull down that wildly dangerous Pepsi display) If I do hear that comment (referring to the blog post about the jerk in the grocery store), I’ll most likely laugh and play it off, and not be easily offended because:
-I know what it’s like to see something happening out of control and not know what else to do.
-I know what it’s like to stick your foot in your mouth.
-I know what it’s like to hear a funny joke in your head, and then say it and it come out ALL wrong.
Or maybe that person is just really, really, mean. Ok whatever, I’m going to choose to TRY to see that person in the best light.
I can imagine people looking at me all chubby and prego and breathless pushing a cart around with a 20 month old and 3 year old thinking that I’m crazy for it. And, they would be right. I’m crazy. But, God is sovereign, in control, and GOOD. And I know that when He blessed me with these babies, I considered these exact grocery store scenarios, and I worried about them. And, I have experienced them. I will continue to experience them. And they are much worse in my head than in reality. Also, in the big scheme of parenting, the melt downs are like 1 in 100 moments of parenting awesomeness. The public meltdowns are probably more like 1 in 300 moments of parenting awesomeness. In other words, they are inconsequential to me. Sometimes they do make for funny stories though.
And, side note: how first world is this issue? I mean, there are women and children fighting for stale bread and clean water in this same world we live in. There are women fighting to even have or keep their children. There are people in our own society who are fighting poverty, addiction, abuse, gang violence, and only God knows what else. Why are we fueling the fire to fights that have no happy ending? Why are we fighting to push every. single. one. of our opinions and ideas on everyone else? Can we just try to find and enjoy our similarities rather than emphasizing and soaking our differences in animosity on the world wide web?
Back to the ridiculous rants. First, I want to say to myself, next time I happen upon one, “JODI, DON’T READ THE COMMENTS.”
Second and more importantly, I think we should all (readers and writers alike) posture ourselves to view these issues THROUGH THE LENSE OF GRACE. Because...
"No one gives grace better than a person deeply persuaded they need it themselves" Paul Tripp
And folks, we ALL need grace.
OK. now I'm done ranting about rants. Much LOVE and GRACE!
1 comments:
well said!
-Hannah
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