I overheard someone ask B about how things have been, specifically for him, since Story was born. His answer surprised (and punched) me. He said something to the effect of, "this time around, it's easier for me because i know my role". so that got me thinking........ hmmm, I suppose when we had Tag, I was doing a lot of the so called "work," because I was nursing. I'm a tiny bit of a control freak, so if I try to remember into the hazy details, I guess I didn't leave a lot for Brentley to do, because I was happy to do it all-- my way, of course. I wanted tag changed and fed, my way. I wanted him put to sleep, my way or in my time, because I obviously had everything figured out *HA*(that's sarchasm for thoes who don't read sarchasm well). And, maybe some of that isn't completely wrong, i mean, i was the one reading the baby books *HA.* But in hindsight, I'm thankful for my sweet husband's patience with me while I learned the ins and outs of being a mother to a baby, and how to share responsibility instead of hoard it.
I really do think, with infants, the mother does have the upper hand. But once the babies become the slightest bit independent (eating solids, sitting up or crawling), the dad's role does begin to take a clearer shape. I'm not saying here that dad's don't have a role with tiny infants, they absolutely do. I mean, if I want Story to smile really big, all I have to do is just get B over to talk to her. She absolutely lights up.... she literally smiles on demand for him. and diaper changes, B can whip a diaper on and off and button up a onsie in no time flat. if there is an opportunity for B to feed Story, he's on it. He's nothing short of a terrific, loving, silly, and God honoring daddy to both of our kids (and husband to me). But, with babies, Mama's do kind of have a speical VIP type role.
[STAGE RIGHT, enter the season of toddler hood + infant]. But, life is different now from when we first embarked on parenthood. Since Tag began to gain his independence about a year ago, Brentley and I have entered a season of real joint parenthood. we make decisions about bedtime, meals, clothes, baths, kinds of diapers, what works, what doesn't, and last but not least, and possibly the most important, discipline. I'm sure we jointly decide on a billion other things, but these are the ones off the top of my head. And, because we have an infant (of which even the sweetest and easiest, like Story, still take a lot of time and attention), B takes up ANY slack at any chance he can to help with Tag, while I pull my special mommy card out for a few months more to tend to Story. Or, vise versa when I need to put in some QT with Tag.
Some days are so super awesome that I just wish a reality TV camera was following us around to capture how adorable our kids are and how awesome our day was as a happy family of 4. Other days end with rough "witching hours," a completely wrecked house, a reflection of some sort of potty incident gone awry, and two big gulps of niquil (best sleep aid ever). And combined, those days made up the end of our 4th year of marriage together. They have been the sweetest, most awesome, most hilariously disgusting, faith producing, heart-full-of-joyfulness-so-much-so-I-want-to-cry days. PRAISE BE to our Lord who has seen fit to put us here together! I look forward to our continued life together as husband and wife and parents to our beautiful sweet babies.
Brentley, if you're reading this, I love, love, love you. I don't deserve you. You make my world go-round. You make my heart jump and laugh and sometimes stop. You are an answer to prayer, and gift from God, and the cutest baby maker EVER.
@ the biltmore estate in asheville NC on May 4, 2012.
