CRAZIEST. (Post 3 of 3)

SKITTLES.

B comes home from work at lunch most days, and the other day Tag ran to let him know he had pooped on the potty.  Then he said, "Daddy, the skittles are all gone!  We need to buy some more."  

B responded, "You ate all your skittles! Wow that means you've been doing a great job pooping on the potty!" (a handful of skittles were the current reward) 

I sat back smiling... feeling a little victory dance coming on (But not yet.  not yet!)  Then Tag says, "Well, Mommy ate them too.  She ate a lot!"  

BUSTED.  That kid is such a tattle lately. (love him!)

Tag reasoned that I could have skittles because I pooped on the potty too.  I agreed enthusiastically!  But really, I get some because if I was around to award skittles, it means I was the one to go "help" afterwards.  I feel very much as if I DESERVE those skittles!  So get more skittles WE WILL sweet boy!  

And, FYI the new apple flavor ROCKS!

[Tag as some kind of transformer with the boxes on his hands.  and Tag with his paci loot (photo from back in the spring)]

BACK TO WHAT IS CRAZY.

I haven't written about this yet, because it's taken me every minute of the 25 weeks to believe it's real.  

We're expecting another baby Cobb in November!  

I put that exclamation mark there knowing it has double meaning.

excitement + insanity  

Yeah, I said it.  It feels insane to me.  Like, in the inhalation of one breath I have this feeling of complete elation, excitement, happiness and bewilderment that I've received this magical, undeserved, gift yet again.  HOLY COW.  ME?!  Like I'm accepting an academy award!  

But in the exhale of that same breath, I feel straight up panic. WHAT THE WHATTTTTTTTT!!!!!!  How can we do this?  3 under 3?  We've already spent a small fortune on broken limbs, diapers, and animal crackers.  Duke Hospital OWNS us.  My time is already divided between two kiddos, my boo... plus work!  I love them (kiddos and b) so much, my heart feels like it's traveling outside my body.  How can my heart be expanded yet again?  How can we afford this? What other sacrifices will we need to make to be able to afford this?  Will I still work, Yup.  Will we move out of our 1300 sq foot house meant for 3?  since we'll have 5.  Eventually.  What about your car... can you even fit 3 car seats in the back of the Highlander?  Technically. 

[a tight squeeze.  tag is wearing my snowboarding helmet in this photo.  story is giving her best mean mugging.]

So then I take another breath and try to clear my head, and think rationally about all these answers.  And the rational answers come.  And they go.  And I'm left feeling like I can take another breath because I'm entirely dependent upon the Grace of God.  Because, I have nothing else to cling to.  Thank you, Father!

Others tell me, "Oh I had 3 together like that..." and "I remember those days..." or "Oh, I know because I have 5 now and a set of multiples." And, I'm like... BUT I'm NOT YOU!  I'm not organized, or competent on fewer than 7 hours of sleep, or staying at home with the kids right now.  And, I HATE MINIVANS!  

And what about me?  I wanted to run a half marathon this fall.  And, my bladder hates me.  And can I just get a glass o wine?  And, I'm not a skinny mom.  I gain like 60 lbs every dang time.  Ok, I exaggerate... it's more like 50-55.  And, HOW will I EVER go to Target without B again?????  Tag nor Story will sit in the crazy cart yet... they BOTH still need to be in the buckled part up front!  And trying to maneuver that giant cart is not worth the trouble anyway.           

(I told you I'm truly so sinfully selfish!)

 

[why can't Target have these fun carts?  still doesn't solve my upcoming problem though... though the thought has crossed my mind that maybe this is a way of curbing our budget for the things to come! haha!]

Some people might read this and be like, "Fo shame, that girl has no idea how babies are made" And others might be like "Fo shame, that girl doesn't know how blessed she is." And both can right.  Judge away.  My pride, independence, desire to please others, desire to control everything, is being stripped away moment by surviving moment. 

Apparently, I didn't know how to take my birth control EXACTLY as prescribed (once a day, same EXACT time every day within like a 2 hour window), though I never missed a pill mind you!  And, I'll admit that I don't know yet, just how lucky I am.  I feel this baby kicking around in me, and excitement builds!  I wanna know--what is it?  (Brentley knows the gender, but nobody else does, myself included)  Will this baby be like Story or Tag or completely different?  Will it look like one of us or like their crazy, beautiful, aunt J?  Will this one be more calm... kind of pensive?  Or another addition to the circus?  What if this one has reddish hair like me!?!    

All I do know this: 

God's plan for my (our) life, never fails to amaze me.  It never fails to surprise and thrill me.  I love that HE is in control, and I am not.  I love that He supplies the strength needed.  He supplies every need.  Through Him, all fears are assuaged.  I love surprises, and this indeed is one.  So, THANK YOU LORD!  It's a precious surprise!  

And, Tag and Story have been the biggest blessings to me and B.  And, I'd venture to say they have served as HUGE blessings to their grandparents too.  We have never experienced love and responsibility in such a grand and fulfilling way as we have while being their parents.  Every day is new and filled with amazement and wonder: 

Will Story say a new word?  

Will Tag recognize a new letter of the alphabet?  

Story learned to tumble?!  

Is she going to climb out of her crib this morning?  

Did you know Tag calls me "Godi" now instead of mommy?  And you are now "Bentway."      

OWWWW... Is that batman in my bed?  Oh, there is half a goldfish stuck to your back (after lying in bed all night).

           

These moments can't be described in words, only experienced as parents.  But, I hope it helps to convey my point.

This will be hard(er), but there is no way it won't be awesome!  

Being parents to Tag and Story has been the best experience ever.  And this (baby # 3) is more of that.  So BRING ON THE CRAZY!  And, a dang minivan.  

I'd like to finish out the "Crazy" series with a shout out to my baby daddy.  I love this dude.  B is such a terrific and selfless husband and father.  I'm sure I don't even know how much he gives up to be with us day in and day out.  He comes home from work and jumps right into life with us-- gets his hands dirty and all!  He's not (too) afraid of a 3+ wipe diaper, a discipline issue, or bath time.  He'll finish dinner or endure Angelina Ballerina and make up words to the tune of "Baby Bumble Bee" with the best of them!  He encourages me and brings me to reason.  He loves me through my selfishness, and helps me to see and embrace self-LESS-ness.  He leads our home with joy, love, and affection.  

Until about week 18 I was totally dragging and exhausted, and NOT about to cook.  He picked up the reins, figuring out dinner for us every night.  He grocery shops.  He lets me have naps and takes the kids out on mystery rides.  Without him, I wouldn't be in this situation (HA HA), but I wouldn't have it any other way!  He is such a treasured gift to me!  And, certainly easy on the eyes too ;) xo   

Happy 1st Birthday Story Kate!

AHHHH, how the heck did we get here?  How is SK 1 year old??  It seems just like yesterday I was watching The Office and the rest of Thursday night TV in the hospital waiting on the pitocin to kick in.    

 Story 1 week old 

Today we celebrated Story with family at my mom's house.  She was a trooper even though she missed her morning nap for the party.  She knew just what to do with the cake, and we enjoyed watching her run around with her brother and cousin.  *Yes, RUN!* 

Daddy and "Doorbell" 

 Our little family

 Story's first birthday cake, made by her grams!  It was SO delicious, and cute right??  How cute!

Lunch at grandma and grandaddy's house

 Grandma Wendi getting some (sleepy) Story love! 

 Story has daddy's wild hair too!

with Grandma Audrey 

I was here too! =)

Tag (2.5yrs) and Sophia (18 mo) 

Kisses! 

chicken salad, pimento cheese, deli wraps, grapes, strawberries  and chicken nuggets and CUPCAKES!

Sweet Sophia Blake! 

 Aunt Erin and Story

 How's that cake?  

 One of two-year-old-Tag's faces that i just love!

Tag, Grandaddy, and SK =)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY STORY!

Welcome sweet Story K!

On Thursday evening, February 16, our sweet daughter Story Katherine Cobb was born at Duke Hospital.  She was 8 lbs 6 oz and 20.5 inches long.  I was blessed to have the same doctor, Dr. Nieves, who also delivered Tag.  He is TERRIFIC!  I'm convinced that little grace was an act of God because there are probably 15+ doctors in that practice and  you don't get a say in who will deliver your baby... it's just whoever is on call during that shift.    

My water broke Wednesday around 11:30 pm and we went to Duke on Thursday morning at 7 am when contractions didn't pick up.  We were admitted and told to do some walking to try to get the contractions I was having to become regular--no luck!  So at 12:45pm we started pitocin and were on pitocin ALL day.  I ate a quick lunch before we got the pitocin and around 6pm my awesome doctor let me have half a turkey sandwich (plain), and some peaches. Although I was having contractions (according to the machine) I couldn't really feel them regularly.  At this time he told us he really felt like we wouldn't have a baby until well after midnight and to try to rest (HA).  Brentley went home to help our family members put Tag to bed and get a few things while I rested.  Then, we watched our Thursday night line up (30 Rock, Office, etc.) and around 10pm the contractions went from 0 to 1 on the pain scale to maybe an 8 or 9.  I couldn't believe how quickly I was jolted into active labor!  By 10:30pm they were off the scale and the Doctor checked me to find me only 5 CM dilated.  Since It had taken me all day to get from 3CM (what I was when I came to the hospital) to 5CM, I decided to get an epidural.  They administered that around 11pm saying it would work in about 20 minutes, and as soon as they left the room my contractions became so powerful they forced me to start pushing.  The nurse called the Doctor in to get ready, and Story came a few minutes later at 11:26pm!      

 I don't have any good pictures of Story when she was first born, but if I did they would be a bit scary looking.  She came out with a terribly bruised head from the quick labor, or as Brentley put it, my body contracting on her face :(  It took a day or so for the bruising to go away which then revealed these lovely pink, rosy cheeks.

These are pictures of our little Story Kate at 7 days old.  It's pretty amazing how much they change each day these first few weeks.   

 She favors Tag in some ways but is much different in others.  Tag had much chunkier arms and legs than Story has.  And Story has much longer fingers and toes than Tag has.  And, obviously Tag had way more hair (and a bigger head, I might add!).   

Here is a picture of Tag meeting Story for the first time.  He was pretty amused by her.  We are still practicing "gently" stroking her head or touching her feet.  He loves to say "Bebe" and he enjoys looking at her up close (supervised, of course). 

Below are a few pictures comparing Tag and Story at their first well baby check ups.  Story on the left and Tag on the right.  To me, they do favor quite a bit!

   

I'm still not convinced that the second baby is "easier," but I think my expectations were set more accurately this time.  Nursing is still hard as heck, but I think knowing all the aches and pains are normal makes it easier.  So far, Story is sleepier than Tag was, so at night I have had a few really nice stretches of sleep (Lord, please let this continue).  But, she eats nearly every 2 hours during the day (ouch).  Tag was almost immediately on a 3-3.5 hour routine, even at night.      

Tag is learning to adjust but it's not always easy for him.  He seems to want to be in my lap exactly when I'm feeding Story, and cries "mamamama" which hurts my heart!  I hate not being able to immediately comfort him, but I know he has to learn to share his mama and daddy with his sweet sister. 

Anyway, I can't believe we're now a family of 4!  My heart feels full and happy and I am so grateful that God saw fit to bring Story into our lives! Praise be to God! 

PS:  Story is a name that Brentley and I came up with, just talking through things we both love (Both being English majors and book nerds and all...)  Katherine is my great-grandmothers name, my grandmothers middle name, and my middle name, so I kept it going.  My mother also has the middle name "Kaye" which is a shortened version of the name.  I like the juxtaposition of a very different name with a very classic name.  I also like the option to call her "Story Kate," though I'll probably be the only one to do that, as B isn't a huge fan of double names.  I hope that Story will grow up loving her name and loving the women whose name she shares.  I think the world of Story's grandmothers-- they are strong, kind, beautiful women with servant's hearts.  I love these women!!     

so now you know....

30 weeks pregnant with baby girl cobb.

yes, now you know why i have slowed down so much.  when i see the pictures, i don't even know what to say.  it blows my mind what my body can do in such a short period of time.  and it also blows my mind how quickly second pregnancies pass.  they are neat though, second pregnancies, because imagining what your child could look like or be like isn't as difficult.  and imagining what nursing and changing diapers at 3am, and losing sleep (indefinitely)... also not so difficult. 

tag was just waking up from a nap and really needed some love, which was nice, because i absolutely hate having photos taken of me alone.  anyway, back to the belly... at my 28 week appointment i was told that i measured at 30 weeks.  at the 30 week appointment, i was measuring at 31 weeks. 

 

 30 weeks

When I look at these photos, all I can think is, wow i am as big as my Christmas Tree!  And I won't even write what I'm thinking about my face.  Regardless, I'm happy to be expecting this sweet baby girl.  Her closet is already filling up, and we're hoping to get started on her nursery in the next few weeks!  I can't believe that we will soon be a family of four!!!!!  

    

darn you costco.

...you and your massive container of cookie dough and the coupon that sold me.   



this is just a "like" image i found on line.  the coupon was actually $3 dollars off.  it has taken me less than a month to get to the bottom of it.  i've got about 4 or 5 bites left, if i ration it well throughout the weekend. 

poor baby girl.  she'll probably come out with chocolate chips for freckles.  but that's ok. i love her to pieces!!! 

21 weeks! --> over half way there!     

the good, the bad, and the yucky.

GOOD:i always dread cleaning my bathroom because no matter how hard i scrubbed that tub, it was still gross.  but this time, i used the mr. clean magic eraser for the bathroom, and it worked MIRACLES.  we have those not-tile tubs... i guess they are plastic?  they are in a lot of newer town homes and apartments especially.  anyway, the bottom of the tub gets super dirty if you do things like wash your dog in it, or your husband likes to fish or play disc golf and get super dirty and then shower in it.  normal things, you know?  anyway, even though i would clean it, it never looked clean.  until my cleaning guru lindsey recommended these things.  i bet they would do something crazy awesome to gross tile too!  yay for mr. clean.  go get some!   


BAD: tag got the infamous "hand, foot, and mouth disease" this past week.  no idea how he got it since no other kids have it that we know of.  he's been quarantined, and it's been yucky.  he got a fever first, and then he stopped taking bottles, sippy cups, or eating.  that's how i knew something was up--quick! tag NEVER turns down food!  anyway, turns out he had the sores in his mouth.  i didn't even think to wrestle him to the ground to look in there?  thankfully it came on close to the weekend, so i went ahead and took him to the doctor (previous lesson learned-- never go into the weekend with an unexplained fever).  anyway, he was a pitiful thing all weekend because the doctor prescribed benadryl(hello sleep!).  today he's taken a turn for the better eating more and drinking more water (still hardly any milk).  except that tonight,(this is the YUCKY) while he was taking a bath, he pooped big time and it wasn't that kind you could just fish out.  i'll leave it at that.  anyway, good thing i have that mr. clean scrubber eh?  oh and did i mention a little bit after his second bath, he accidentally vomited on me?  ew!  

oh, but there is more GOOD:  i just found out that instant netflix does have a bunch of other thomas the train shows.  we've watched "hero of the rails" about a million times, so you can imagine my excitement.  perfect timing too, since tag has been pretty clingy, sickly, (but super cuddly) this weekend.  oh, and i noticed that "the wonder years" is on instant view too!  woo hoo!!!

and more BAD:  i started really poking around pintrest because a bunch of my cool facebook girl friends have "friended" me on pintrest.  i was like, "wait, i know i don't have anything cool on there so let me go see what they would want to follow me for??"  and then i started pinning.  and now, i'm in need of some genius to create an app to help me with my lack of discipline on the internet.  it's simple: blogs--pinterest--facebook.  i need someone to create a timer so that i can't spend more than 20 minutes on each a day.  it's fun, and it gets my creative juices flowing, but last night i dreamed that i actually did some projects from pinterest, and i woke up completely exhausted.  like i had done a marathon or something.  BOO!!!

but always still, more GOOD: my friend had her triplets boys on august 24th.  i couldn't even fathom it, but then i went to help her around the house and take her a meal the other day, and it kind of made me want multiples!?  (shhhh...don't tell b!) in the span of 3-4 hours i got to feed each baby and change several tiny baby diapers.  i forgot how precious tiny babies are!  things were a bit chaotic since she has a 2 and 4 year old also, but still... it was so amazing to see how God can grow 3 babies in a woman and then have her live to tell about it.   

it is furthermore encouraging to see how my dear friend has embraced this season, and how she's not complaining one bit!  i needed this reality check, fo sho!  with a second baby coming, i already see the ways in which i could easily fall into discontentment and complaining.  i like my house to be tidy(ish), and i don't like baby stuff everywhere.  b and i already struggle to get time together.  we have begun the heavy task of disciplining tag, and i can see that it will be a perfectly matched daily challenge between parents and child.  oh, and i'm having a girl! 

this is TERRIFYING.  and AWESOME.  but for real, it's heavy.  having a boy was a fun and an easy thing to accept--because who doesn't love being a mommy to a baby boy??. except for the fact that one day i'll likely be an MIL, but i have time to accept that, right?? 

anyway, knowing ahead of time that i'm to have a girl, just makes me anxious to be so much better than i am.  she's going to have me to look up to, you know?  i mean, i know that i can teach her how to throw a softball from center field to home plate, and how to bump/set/spike a volleyball. i can teach her how to dribble a basketball and how to shoot a free throw.  i can even teach her to snowboard!  basically, how to be a tom boy (that should keep the boys away for a little longer, right?) 

i can pass down all my favorite girlhood books like the anne of green gables series (what's left of them after tag's toilet adventures), and everything by jane austen, louisa may alcott, and stephanie meyer (JK on stephanie!!!!).  then when she's older, i can do girly things, too, like show her how to shape her eyebrows and pick out make up that doesn't look too made up.  BUT, the question is, can i teach her important things like self confidence, modesty, ambition, and can i adequately model to her how to love Jesus??  can i teach her selflessness and compassion?  can i show her what a loving wife and mother looks like?  can i teach her discipline!?  gosh, if there is one practical gift i want to give to all of my kids it's this darned thing i lack myself.  guess that means i better wrap it up.  these 20 minutes are up, and things are starting to get heavy! ;)    

Gymboree

Tag's Papa and Nana gave him a month of classes at the Gymboree Play and Learn Gym for his 1st birthday present.  He has one class left, and so far it's been really great!  I'd say we've learned more about him, than he's learned in this class, but he's enjoyed every second of being let "loose" in this safe play area for an hour at a time!  I can see how the class has and would be beneficial for him--too bad the classes are so stinkin' pricy! 

Tag loves the bubbles!  But he doesn't seem to care much for the other structured activities--something we need to work on, for sure.  Currently, he's more interested in exploring every square inch of the cool play gym.

It doesn't take him that long to figure out where the balls are in this place.  I didn't know this until we took this class but he absolutely LOVES balls! 



The wiffle balls are awesome because he can hold two at once by sticking his fingers in the holes to grip them.  He wouldn't let these go once he found them.  Even if they did hinder his playing.

Every now and again, he'd find a way to steal another kid's balls (or trade without their consent).  Not sure if it was about the colors or what.  He likes crawling through these tunnels too.



I hate to brag, but Tag was the best on the slides.  He climbed right up and although the slide down isn't smooth for his chunk legs (shoulda worn pants), he figured out!



Thank heavens the whole gym is padded because Tag hasn't quite mastered running, though he tries all the time.  He face planted into the mat several times, but got right up and kept going.  Sometimes instead of babling words, Tag growls or grunts.  Not sure where he got that, but if you know him, it kind of fits him.  The other parents and teachers commented on how "crazy" he is.  I never know how to take it, but I smile because I love my little crazy man... grunts and all!      

What the what??

What the what??  These are all the things I just can't wrap my brain around right now. 

Nobody told me about the fact that once you get your baby sleeping through the night, they turn into toddlers and begin waking up at 3am and sometimes 4:30am and 5am too.  Nightmares?  Hunger?  Molars?  No idea.  Super tired momma.... definitely.

Next time I buy a house, I want one with an already landscaped yard.  This house's yard is awful.  Ok, it's "my" yard, but still.... it's awful.  How do we get grass to grow?  It probably involves money and/or hard work, right?  Ahhh forget it.  We'll just continue to drive to the park. 

Is there a cure for sinus headaches?  If so, I want need to know it NOW.  And no, don't tell me about the netipot... I can't get behind pouring salt water up my nose.  (But for the record, if this stuff continues or gets any worse, I may try it just so I can say... "I did that, it sucks, what else!")

I'm currently in a vicious circle of guilt.  If I'm working, I feel a bit guilty that I'm not hanging with my fam.  If I'm hanging with my fam, I feel guilty because I'm not working (and I have loads of work).  And every time I've stepped into my bathroom this week, I've felt guilty because it needs a cleanin' so, so, bad.  Currently I feel a tad bit guilty for blogging and not cleaning.  Tag is in bed though, and B is working late so no guilt there.  And oh now I feel guilty for not feeling guilty about not working.  bla ha ahh.  

I have my 10 year class reunion this weekend!  Holy cow!  But, I can't figure out what to wear?  I've still got 10 lbs+ left over from Tag and another babe on the way.  I'm not far enough along to look cute, and the combination is just enough to look like I have a beer belly.  Black... what do I have that is black?  All black!  Maybe some heels.  Gosh I hate heels these days.  At least I get to take one of my two cutest accessories to the party.  Maybe some of B's hotness will rub off on me! How did I get so lucky?! =)

my other best accessory... too young for the party!

In other news, I just want to say that regarding the important things (i.e. nothing listed above), I have witnessed the faithfulness of God lately.  Needs have been met in His perfect timing, strength has been given, mercy has been granted.  We have a weekly memory verse at church, and I rarely participate in memorizing.  But recently Brentley and I (thanks to his efforts) memorized this verse.  What encouragement--Thank you God!

Isaiah 41:10
 (ESV)

¹⁰fear not, for I am with you;
   be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Bye Bye Baby... Hello Toddler!

Yesterday we celebrated Tag's first birthday, and I've got a bad case of nostalgia. I've been looking at old pictures of Tag, and I'm fascinated at how much he's changed. Since January he has learned to eat solid foods (6 months), to crawl (7 months), to pull up and crawl up stairs(9 months), to walk (10 months), and now at his first birthday he eats most of his food on his own with his 8 hard earned teeth, he drinks water out of any sippy cup we give him, and he marches around the house like he owns the place getting into everything dangerous that is humanly possible (heavy books, electrical chords, laptops, animal foods, etc.). He's officially a TODDLER.

Tag plays well with Durham, and she tolerates him well. He likes to slap her and pull her tail, but Durham hardly seems phased. He enjoys Yo Gabba Gabba and his sign language DVD (but he doesn't use any sign language, HA!). He plays contently in his pack n play for about 10-20 minutes at a time. He loves books and the new favorite seems to be "Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What do you see?" At church, he is still learning to play gently with others, and he's getting better every week. I'm not sure if this is every baby, or just Tag but he almost always has to be holding something in both hands. it's like it helps him balance or something. Even when he was crawling, he would almost skate around on the toys in his hands as he pushed along with his knees. I like to think he's going to be a good multi-tasker.

We're still putting Tag to bed at 8pm and he wakes up between 6-7 am. His naps are mostly still between 1.5-2 hours long, though every now and again he'll wake up at 45 minutes, and we'll try to rock him back to sleep. He's so tired most of the time, that he's glad when we put him in his crib. What a relief! I remember at 6 months thinking that day would never come! Most nights, he rolls right into his comfortable spot and goes on to sleep as he listens to his sound machine. He doesn't seem to have a favorite toy or stuffed animal, despite our best efforts to get him to like this cute sting ray in his crib. He learned to clap just this weekend, but his wave is still a bit sketchy.

We celebrated Tag's actual birthday as a family. B and I took the day off from work, and we went to the NC Zoo. It was terrific! Tag napped on the way down, enjoyed all of Africa, napped during most of North America and seemed to have a fun day all things considered. We didn't feel the infamous "earth quake", though. We got back just in time for his first haircut appointment (separate post about that), dinner and then an early bed time for all! This weekend we'll have a birthday party for Tag at my parents house. It's a mostly family affair, and we're excited to see everyone. I'm personally excited to eat birthday cake and see Tag eat it. I have this sneaky feeling he won't get much of a second nap in after all that sugar.

Here are a few pictures of the Birthday Boy himself:

Tag at his first well baby check up--5 days old.

Tag on his first birthday at the zoo!

Tag with Daddy.

Tag checking out the Gorillas

Tag and Mommy visiting the elephants

This has truly been a wonderful year. It's crazy how quickly we went from having a newborn to having a toddler, but we're thankful for every second of it. God has blessed us immensely with this little boy. He's perfectly and uniquely what God knew we needed. Tag challenges us daily but also brings us more earthly joy than either of us have ever known. I still can't decide if every mother feels as strongly as I do for my son, and this is just what loving a child is really like, or if I'm extra blessed with this special gift? Either way, I don't deserve him. But as long as God entrusts him to me, I will enjoy every single second!

Upon becoming a mother to this precious child, I have seen the world in such a new light. I feel like now I actually can concieve how God sacrificing his only son is the ultimate show of love to Christians. I can't imagine sacrificing my son for anyone. And, this just further proves to me my own depravity, God's pure goodness, and how much I need God.